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An Open Letter to The Church

By Andrea Schaap Church, I have some issues with you and a deep, profound love for you. It was through you, Church, that I found hope and purpose. My life was forever transformed inside your walls. I used to be an anxiety-ridden, self-sufficient, control freak. Now, I am more like someone who loves and trusts […]

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No Pain No Gain

By Carl Thomas This month I am turning 50. That’s right… 50!!! And while the reality sets in that I am officially becoming “old,” I am super thankful that I can say my level of fitness does not reflect my numerical age. In fact, I score in the top 10% for most categories of health […]

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The Lie of Shame

By Charese Pettis As everyone settled into their rooms the other night, not likely asleep but content to read until they were, it was finally my turn to relax.  It had been a long day (when is it not in parenting?) and I was tired.  I read for a bit, turned the lights out, and […]

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Shame, Shame, Shame on You

By Carl Thomas If you’ve been following XXXchurch for the past couple of months you know that a key aspect to our mission is pushing for more open conversations about difficult subjects in culture and in the church.  Subjects like porn, lust, and masturbation. Why?  Because we believe that the only way these things will […]

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Breaking Free From Shame

By Jennifer Dye “When we experience shame, we feel disconnected and desperate for worthiness. Full of shame or the fear of shame, we are more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors and to attack or shame others. In fact, shame is related to violence, aggression, depression, addiction, eating disorders, and bullying.” Brene Brown   Have […]

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The Holy Ground of Your Child’s Confession

By Melissa Miller I know my child; something was up. My daughter paced in and out of my bedroom while I worked at my desk. At first, she needed a signature for school. A few minutes later, she asked about our schedule, and then she came in fidgeting and asked about dinner. I turned my […]

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Shame and Guilt: Are They Different?

By Frank Honess One of the most crippling feelings people experience in life is shame. Whether that be through a traumatic childhood memory or through some kind of incredibly painful abuse that took place. Or simply the feeling that they were a problem people just had to “deal” with.  I believe that shame is a […]

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The ‘Hopeful Anxiety’ of Recovery

By Jonathan Daugherty One of the themes that we weave throughout our Gateway to Freedom workshop is that the men there are men of courage. In fact, it’s the first thing I tell them in the first session. You should see the looks I get. Shock. Disbelief. Some even turn away and won’t make eye […]

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Don’t Give Up, Dig Up

By Clinton Munoz My compulsive consumption of pornography started at 11 years old. I never thought then I’d be writing this today. My addiction took me farther than I ever wanted to go, hurt me and others more than words can describe, and almost cost me my life. I turned 30 a few months ago […]

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Don’t Give Up, Dig Up

By Clinton Munoz My compulsive consumption of pornography started at 11 years old. I never thought then I’d be writing this today. My addiction took me farther than I ever wanted to go, hurt me and others more than words can describe, and almost cost me my life. I turned 30 a few months ago […]

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Faith and Science: Solving the “Conflict”

By Carl Thomas This month with the recent relaunch of XXXchurch we’ve been focusing most of our content around the goal of establishing what this ministry is about and what our focus is on. In other words… what sets us apart from other ministries or organizations. So far we’ve told you that… We are that […]

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Shame: A Betrayed Wife’s Story

By Andrea Schaap Hidden. Broken. Isolated. Empty. These are all things we have experienced in 2020. The added pressures and complexities of COVID coupled with living through the trauma of sexual betrayal have pushed many to the end of their rope. Betrayal feels like our rock bottom. Add COVID to the mix, and the bottom […]

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The Dangers of Anti-Porn Culture

By Carl Thomas A couple of weeks ago, ChurchLeaders.com released an article spotlighting XXXchurch and its new mission citing some remarks I made in a previous blog post. Now don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for the coverage but I wasn’t a huge fan of the headline… Anti-Porn XXXchurch Site Owner’s Message: ‘Things Aren’t […]

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Porn Addiction Doesn’t Discriminate

By Melissa Ruff A wonderful woman that has been a part of our online groups wrote in and wanted to share her story. We hope this encourages you… If you’re a Christian woman struggling with porn, masturbation, or other sexual sins, I can assure you that you’re not alone. I’m a 31-year-old woman, born and […]

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The Origin of Shame

By Carl Thomas Chances are whether you’re a Christian or have no faith context whatsoever, you know about the story of Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden.  It goes something like this…  God created an amazing world we now know as planet earth. Adam and Eve were the first two people he made, […]

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Real Church

By Melissa Ruff My husband was addicted to porn for six years of our marriage. The devastation became clearer and clearer as the years went on while I mutated into someone I did not recognize. My husband was not the man that I thought I married.  Our marriage was crumbling. I finally had enough and […]

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Mo’ Problems… No Solutions

By Carl Thomas Not too far back, a friend of mine forwarded a message that their pastor had preached about porn. They suggested I reach out to him and connect regarding our ministry since the timing seemed right. Sounded logical enough. So I listened to the message and I sent the guy an email and […]

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QotD: “The Truth About Pornhub”

By antiplondon You have probably never heard of MindGeek, the huge tech company that owns Pornhub: the world’s most popular porn site. Pornhub, which has 42 billion visits per year, is currently under fire for its apparent lack of safeguarding checks. Six million videos a year are posted on the site; some, according to anti-porn […]

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QotD: “Misogyny is much more than a wolf-whistle”

By antiplondon Reece Thompson broke his girlfriend’s jaw with an iron bar, smashed a mirror over her head and, during a three-day ordeal, made her lick up paint. He was jailed for 40 months for GBH and given a ten-year restraining order. The first time he was released, he joked on Twitter about the attack […]

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QotD: ‘If you find it problematic, you’re the problem’

By antiplondon It’s weird, given how many magazines I used to plough through, that I’ve never forgotten this one piece. Even my recollection of Smith’s particular pose for the photograph was correct. I guess that no matter how hard I tried to persuade myself otherwise, there was still something about it that creeped me out. […]

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QotD: “Can sex offenders change?”

By antiplondon What should be done with these 400 newly minted paedophiles each month. That is the subject of a documentary to be broadcast on BBC Three, which asks: Can Sex Offenders Change? Presenter Becky Southworth, a victim of sexual abuse by her father, talks to men with convictions for sexual offences involving children who […]

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QotD: “The Mythology of Karen”

By antiplondon Below is an extract from a much longer essay in The Atlantic, by Helen Lewis, I would recommend reading the whole thing. In her 1991 essay “From Practice to Theory, or What is a White Woman Anyway?” the feminist and legal scholar Catharine MacKinnon referenced the Till case to explain the malignant stereotype […]

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